The Most Dangerous Kind of Depression

It has been said that depression is a silent killer; that one can be introverted and depressed. But what I think is more dangerous are not those who are quiet and obviously depressed. The most dangerous ones are the manic-depressive, those who deliberately face the world smiling, entertaining us, empathizing and feeling our pains, but …

Two weeks without medication and I find myself reading non-stop, from articles to books. There's also so much inspiration from my creative muses that I find myself wide-awake at times, scribbling ferociously on notebooks and loose leafs. I'm not new to this, and this is what I have been yearning for for years. I can …

Why I Choose to Deny Medication

It has been a few days since I last took my medication, five days to be exact. I have been provided with a new medication to continue to be taken until my next visit but I chose not to take them, and profusely explained to my mom (who is now in the country for a …

I visited the doctor last week, and what's funny looking  back is, I was there in front of him, being asked how I was, and all I answered were years. 19-something, 18-something. And when he asked me what those were, I answered: "Taon ng kamatayan. (Years of death.)" Followed by a voice telling me, which …

Around this time of the year, I notice that my life has been disrupted by some ungodly trial or opportunity for the past three years that I have had my bouts of depression. I have been contemplating on the promise of "Era Blues" in all its forms, as a writer, an announcer, an influencer (through …

Teaching

Natatakot ako. I've never been this scared of a job. When I was a kid, growing up in a Catholic school, we were taught that the way to pray is not to go to places where people will see you, rather, you must go to a room, close the door, and in one corner, pray …

Vienna

This song is so spot-on for me, probably to my 25-year old self, although at 30, methinks it still is applicable ( but not as much; I've toned down a bit.) Billy Joel never fails to write songs that speak to me. I used to hear this song, but I never really listened to the …

Glad that I am down to .25 of my dosage! I should be done with Tolanz next month. 😊 I can read and think more clearly, faster, and more effectively. I am preparing myself for bigger things come June but more importantly, I am excited to finish CTP in April. I am also excited to …

My dosage is down to 1 and 1/2 alternate. I am glad that I have a job to sustain my caprice and my needs. I'm getting braces again in February. Then in June, maybe visit Hong Kong to get a job as an ESL Teacher and have Fookien classes. This Feb, I also plan to …

“Do you love me?”

"Do you love me?" was what he asked. It's funny how I see myself building something with him in the near future maybe as a close friend. I don't see myself being a wife in the near future because I have to be honest, the thought of being tied down terrifies the hell out of …